Cycles by Martha Robichaud

Baltimore Hub, USA Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, USA

I wake up. The sun is pouring in through the windows. I can tell it is warm outside. I roll nearer my husband so I can hold him. I think, this is nice.

I lie in bed a little longer just because I can.I get out of bed and stretch.I go to the kitchen, stare at the pantry, and decide to make eggs again. I eat my breakfast slowly just because I can. I think, this is fine.

I take my coffee and work outside on the porch. I think, this is pleasant.

I take a break for lunch. I mindlessly scroll on my phone. I read a couple news articles. Horrors abound. I think, this is terrifying.

I make myself a cup of tea and try to get back to work. I cannot focus. I feel useless. My work feels meaningless. I spill my tea and wipe it up angrily. I think, I am a mess.

I move to another room just to change my scenery. I still cannot focus.I meditate for 10 minutes to try to bring myself back. My heart races. Inhale, exhale. I open my eyes and look around the room. I think, I am fine.

I finish my work for the day. My husband is making dinner. I give him a hug. I think, this is nice.

We eat dinner and watch an episode of Star Trek. I work on my knitting project. I read until I’m sleepy. I think, I am safe.

I turn off the light. It takes a while to fall asleep. I dream of my teeth falling out. I wake up. It is still dark. I look at my clock: 3am. I sigh. I try to meditate. My heart races. I think of what lies ahead, and realize my imagination draws a blank. My mind races. I think, I am afraid.

I try to get comfortable again. I breathe. I finally fall back asleep.

I wake up. The sun is pouring in through the windows. I can tell it is warm outside. I roll nearer my husband so I can hold him. I think, this is nice.