Lost my job, but here I am by Pablo Garciadealba Rodriguez

Fri, Apr 24, 2020

Read in 3 minutes

Monterrey Hub, Mexico Originally from Mexico City

I’m here sitting in my living room on day one after losing my job, with notebook and pen in hand, staring at the horizon through the window right in front of me, thinking about the words I want to get out of my head. I do this regularly to understand what I’m feeling, what I’m experiencing and to declutter my mind.

As I’m trying to start writing something a memory pops up in my mind of the times when I used to imagine the day if something like this would happen. I thought it would be the end. I thought I would lose everything, and yet my emotions and feelings express something different right now. Fear is definitely there, anxiety for the uncertainty as well but at the end I’ve realized that no, it is not the end, I feel calm, I feel grateful, strangely happy but scared at the same time. Words are missing to describe the feeling.

Starting with thank you words on the notebook, this has made me more conscious about my life, what I have, what I’ve done and what I want to do.

When you find yourself immersed in the system sometimes there is no room and time to stop and think about it. This is something that we as humans lack to practice. And maybe blame it on the system.

Today April 23rd marks 21 days since that last moment at my job. And regardless of the difficult situation we are all going through I’ve found the strength, the path and the motivation to stay focused. I have finished to realize the power in this phrase “It is not what happens to you but rather how you respond to it”.

Because honestly everything is worse when we imagine it than what actually happens.

I’m not trying to be just a fake positive, during these 21 days I’ve suffered, I‘ve cried, I’ve lost hope but at the end all this roller coaster of emotions, situations and actions have led me to the conclusion that the normal is not going to return. The days when our worry was to decide what coffee we would order are gone and will never come back. I’ve understood the privilege position I’m in and how thankful I should be. I’ve understood that there’s people in worse conditions and I must care about it and try to do something from my side. We must realize that either we adapt to this new life coming, get together and work for the best or we will get stuck and deeply affected.

I really hope that this human shake caused by the COVID-19 awakes us as humanity. Realizing what we have lost and what’s truly important in life. I might be too naive, but I still believe that we humans can behave better, better with you, better with me, better with everyone.