Mon, Apr 13, 2020
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Philadelphia Hub, Pennsylvania, USA Originally from New Jersey, USA
Wearing a mask in the grocery store feels like being stoned in daylight. You forget what you’re supposed to do with your mouth and you think everyone is staring at you. You keep touching your face. You want to cough but really shouldn’t. You forget how to act around people. You’re not sure if you’ll hear someone if they try to speak to you.
For the first few weeks of quarantine anyone who was wearing a mask was deemed as selfish. The news doctors told us that we should leave the N-95 masks to the medical professionals, who were in close contact with infected patients for hours every day. Masks were scarce. Meanwhile, I was hearing conflicting stories. A nurse friend in Northern New Jersey had been wearing the same mask for 2 weeks. A friend with ties to a Philadelphia hospital said they were turning away donations, flooded with too many.
Right as masks were just developing a stigma, the recommendations changed course and we were told to wear one anytime we leave our homes. Kate Hudson posted a light and cheery instagram video of how to fold a scarf like a cute kids craft she just learned from her mom gang.
Masks are supposed to protect us from germs, and protect others from our germs. Isn’t it ironic that in such an emotional time, we are all covering our faces, our expressions?
On Saturday, I took a bike ride way south to a park that is usually pretty vacant, and right before we turned to head home, my skin burnt from the sun and wind, I pulled my bandana up over my face. I didn’t do it on purpose but suddenly I was masked, matching the park goers walking around me. I felt compassion for those with covered faces: couples in their dust masks leftover from house projects, families in handsewn cloth masks, teens with their shirts pulled up over their noses. We now shared a common understanding for the greater good. Sure, some were probably protecting themselves, but if they were really selfish, they wouldn’t have come to the park on a sunny Saturday afternoon. We couldn’t see each other’s expressions, but I think we all knew what we were saying to each other from afar: I see you and I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re staying safe.